I'm back!

1. I've been horrible at blogging lately. Too much other stuff filling my time.

2. We are officially "Hoosiers" again! We are now settled into our new place and are enjoying our Christmas tree!

3. The girls have done great here so far. We had no sleepless nights/horrible transition/crying and wanting to go "home" phases. Whew! :) Kirah did ask about "her church" on Sunday and has mentioned her friends names a few times. Oh, and she got a text from Macie the other day stating that she missed Kirah. Her face lit up and she texted her back. Also, the other day we passed a fire truck and she asked if it was Micah. Today at lunch she talked about Miss Dawn and Miss Cathy. She misses her friends, but so far she's done great with the transition.

4. I've been looking for a part time job since even before we made the move. I had an interview at an OB office yesterday. It went well! Waiting to hear back and still trying to decide if I'd accept for sure. I know there are 16 hr/wk positions out there that come with health benefits and I REALLY want a position like that! But, so far none of those doors have opened.

5. It's hard to believe 2008 is almost over. Where does time go?

6. It's been nice to be closer to family. Last week, mine and Brent's parents came up to assist with unpacking and such. My sister and her girls came over one evening to let the cousins play. They have so much fun together! Kirah had her first ever slumber party Friday night (Lexi stayed all night). This Friday Kiki is staying because Amanda and Dan are going to finish up their Christmas shopping. Speaking of Christmas shopping, I should probably start that sometime soon. Besides the tree in our living room, it hardly feels like Christmas to me. Probably the chaos of moving and all...it's thrown me off a little this year.

7. I'm rambling...

More soon. :)

We're Moving...

To Indiana!

As I'm sure you already know, Brent has accepted a position at Harvest Point Church in Greenwood, IN. We are excited to be moving only 40 minutes away from family and Kirah is excited to have a "big bathtub" in our new house.

Needless to say, this Thanksgiving will be nothing like any other Thanksgiving we've ever had. We won't be stuffing our faces as we will be very very busy packing and will be apart from our families on Thursday.

We are, however, blessed beyond measure. Even admist the chaos, our hearts are thankful for our family, our friends and God's goodness. He is our Giver and Sustainer.

tomorrow.

We're home now.

All I can think of is tomorrow. I'm really wishing this were all over with and Sarah Palin was our new VP!

Pray and then GO VOTE! (then pray some more)

Wait. What?

For the first two days we were here, I was certain we were in Philly. It dawned on me just last night - WE ARE IN PITTSBURG, folks. Ok, so I'm stupid. I can't help it.

NYWC put on by Youth Specialties. It's been great! Lots of amazing worship. Inspiring and challenging talks. Awesome comedy. (I laughed so hard last night I couldn't breath and it felt great.) And, time with my hubby...just to be together and encourage one another. I love my Brent more each day.

God, today I am thankful because Your grace is enough for me.

philly.

I'm in Philadelphia with my hubby until Monday ... Lovin' every minute of it! :)

I'm not asking for another thing.

Tonight we had prayer group at our house. It was so refreshing to spend such time with my God. Just sat and listened. Poured my heart out. Listened. Got real. Listened. Bore my soul. Listened.
It's not that I don't normally spend time in prayer or don't hear from God, but tonight was different. It was different and it was amazing.
Tonight I feel as if I've recieved new eyes to see with. A renewed heart. A peaceful soul.

Tonight God, I'm not asking for another thing.

when it rains, it pours.

1. It's a rainy day. Gloomy, yucky, rainy day.

2. My parents, bro-in-law and sis-in-law are on their way to our house. Looking forward to them being here with us this weekend.

3. Had lunch and spent time with good friends today. I felt sad when they left. Love you. I know you will be by my side.

4. Wishing it were this time next week, actually. Uncertain and difficult circumstances have left me feeling pretty uneasy lately. Heavy heart. Overwhelmed mind. God knows though. Actually, what else really matters?

5. Everything happens for a reason.

priceless.

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks we've ever experienced. Although I cannot share all that's happening, I did want to share something I saw this morning that made me laugh harder than I have in quite awhile.




She's her daddy's girl. :)

heal the wound but leave the scar.

I came across this song a couple days ago by Point of Grace. The first time I heard it, I loved it. Today, though, the message of this song has dug deep into my soul and has ministered to me in ways that I cannot express with words. God is stirring my heart yet bringing peace to my soul more than ever before it seems. I am, and will be, waiting for Him. Waiting on Him. Waiting in Him.


Here's the words:

Heal the Wound
I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

We Lit the Night

The girls and I took part in Light the Night Walk in Indianapolis on Saturday. We had a team of about 50 people walking in honor of my dad. It was amazing! I'd like to thank ALL of those who participated - through walking alongside us or by making a generous donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Thank you, friends! You are a blessing to me, to my daddy and my family! I had a wonderful time making lots of priceless memories last weekend. It was perfect.

For other news - Kirah and Kenah have both been dealing with a bad cold. Coughs, runny noses, the whole shabang. I'm hoping they are better soon. They don't act like they feel horrible, just more annoying for them than anything. They had to get their flu shots today. Kirah cried her eyes out. Big tears too...the kind of tears that make mommy sad. Kenah grunted. As in, "stop it. that's really ticking me off!" Go figure.

Brent is out of town this weekend. Be back late tomorrow night. Kenah cried when he left this morning. She adores her daddy. Kirah said to Kenah (and I quote), "it's okay. don't cry. he'll be back very soon baby girl."

Got the house cleaned today. I love having a clean house!

Hoping to get some organizing done tomorrow. I need to clean out my kitchen cabinets and my bathroom closet something fierce. They are a wreck. Fall cleaning, not spring cleaning.

I got nothing else. Have a good weekend!

on a scale of 1-10...

This morning I came downstairs and Kirah, who was standing on the bottom step eating a pop tart, said "Mommy, I love you". I said "Oh, baby I love you too. How much do you love Mommy?" She said "Um, four." I laughed, thinking that was the cutest thing ever. Then, I started thinking and discussing with Brent. It dawned on me that on a scale of 1-10, four is not too good. Brent assured me that Kirah's scale was probably 1-4. So, to ease my mind we asked her, "Kirah, what's the highest number on your scale?" Her answer? "45."

I think Mommy has some work to do. :)

yes, i'm still alive. :)

1. It's been awhile since I've blogged. Been busy, but really I just haven't been in the mood.
2. The girls and I are heading to IN this weekend. My family and friends are taking part in Light the Night Walk in Indianapolis in honor of my daddy. I am really looking forward to it. I know it will be very special and my dad will leave the walk feeling loved and supported more than he probably ever has.
3. I am working at Kohls now, for those who didn't already know. Just Thursdays and an occasional Saturday morn. Only a few hours a week. It's been good, but I can say I don't love it. Not yet anyway.
4. Kenah Jo had allergy testing last week. Tested negative for anything and pretty much everything. This means we still don't really know what is causing hives. Dr. sais it could just be any underlying infection that may come about from time to time. In most people, we'd never know there was anything but because of her IGA issues, it "works itself out" through the hives. I dunno. Still confused about it all, to be honest. Also, her tubes (in her ears) have already fallen out. They are supposed to last about a year. She's had them 4 months now. The icing on the cake? We still have $700 to pay for that surgery! Isn't that awesome? Ha. She's had an ear infection (as of last week). Dr. said we'll wait to see what happens through the winter. Hopefully we don't have to have another surgery.
5. My sister had a pretty involved knee surgery last week. I'll be staying to take care of her for a couple days next week. I'm looking forward to that too, actually. I haven't spent time alone with my sis for years.
6. I'm so imperfect. Inadequate. Selfish. Unstable. Superficial. I feel so unworthy. Today I am speechless because I realize my God and the ones my God has given me love me anyway. Wow.
7. I'm thankful for friends and for family. The ones who love me for me. The good, bad and ugly. The ones who love me in it and through it. Know that I love you for it.
8. Here's the verse that God's given me just this week... Proverbs 3:5&6 "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track."

More later. :)

back in the real world.

Welp, it's over. We are no longer retreating. No more sleeping in, taking naps, spending hours at the hot tub, watching deer, being chased by bees....

We had an awesome time! I missed my girls a lot, but I must say I wasn't ready to come back. It was just so refreshing and relaxing to be with my husband and there be no interruptions, no responsibilities and no schedule. We had fun being with the deWebers too. Good times. Fun memories. :)

Here's just a couple pics from our week:

This momma is retreating.

I am away with my hubby this week. It's such an amazing feeling to be away with my Brent for the first time in over 3 years. So excited to sleep in, lay around and watch t.v., read, or do WHATEVER I WANT! :)

I will miss my girlies, but for now Momma is enjoying herself.

It's a good day.

1. Kirah is officially potty trained. She still has an accident every great once and awhile, but she is doing wonderful as "big girl" of the house! Yay!

2. Kenah hasn't nursed since Sunday night. This means she is officially weaned. Broken. No longer attached to her mother. Yay! I'm a free woman!

3. I work at Kohls tomorrow - all day. This means Daddy is home with girls - all day. I'm anxious to see what my house may look like when I arrive home tomorrow evening. No worries though. I'm sure they girls will love having Daddy to themselves for the day. :)

Gotta eat and go to choir practice. More soon.

Update on Kenah.

Well, we took Kenah to the allergist this morning for what we thought would be complete allergy testing. And, it was a waste. First, the doctor spent about 10 minutes talking with us about her IGA deficiency. Then, he told us that because she'd had a dose of her anti-histamine within the past week they could not proceed with the allergy test as her results would be altered from the medicine. I could have screamed! They NEVER told me not to give her the medicine before her test! I have been waiting for what seems like forever just to get some clear-cut answers on all this and we still don't know and won't for two more weeks. We are starting her on Soy milk as we are pretty sure, at this point anyway, that she has at least a milk allergy.

About her IGA - we will continue to have her levels checked every 6 months until age five. It will either correct itself or one of the other levels (IGG or IGM) will come down with the IGA and then she will need infusions once a month. Continue to pray that when we have her checked in February the Lord will have already taken care of our Kenah Jo and she will be healed!

I have been reminded this week that God loves and cares for me more than I am able to imagine. I've been overwhelmed lately with Kenah's situation because I care for her more than she'll ever know. I love her. I want the best for her. But, how much more does MY GOD care for me and my Kenah Jo? His love is perfect. It can't be fathomed. It's amazing! He is my Rock and I want to show Him how much I love Him by trusting Him with all I am.

Back home again in Indiana...

1. I'm at my momma and daddy's right now. It's been so good to be home! I needed every minute of it.

2. Kirah had an amazing pink princess party last Saturday evening. She was on Cloud 9! Thank you to everybody who made her birthday so very special. It was priceless! She is officially the princess of all princesses.

3. My K Mak has been accident free for 3 days! She's doing so great being a "big girl" with "big girl panties"! Hard to believe just 10 days ago she was wearing diapers 24/7. She makes her momma proud.

4. I am looking forward to catching up with an old friend from high school tomorrow. We've been in touch for a few months via myspace, but haven't seen each other since graduation. She just had a baby Friday and has a 22 month old - the same age difference as my girls. Can't wait to see her and hold a precious newborn baby too! :)

5. I absolutely can't wait to be with my BFF tomorrow night! I haven't seen her yet! We're having a slumber party. BF time is always priceless to me. I cannot wait to be with my Keisha! Stupid face pics are sure to follow.

6. Kenah's hives are back. We go on Tuesday for allergy testing. Pray for her. I'm anxious for answers!

7. Speaking of allergies, I've got them...big time right now. Can't breathe which makes eating very unenjoyable. Bummer.

8. I miss my husband.

Potty Training.

Kirah has now been wearing "big girl panties" for three days and has only had a couple accidents! [sidenote: I HATE the word panties] She is doing awesome, and as you'll see, is the most gracious sister ever.

just checkin' in.

1. My BFF got engaged on Saturday! I am so happy! We've been waiting for years. Keisha and Johnny started dating within a couple weeks of Brent and I. They are finally engaged to be married and I can't wait to stand by her side on her big day. We've been best friends since 8th grade. We've been through it all together - the good, the bad and the ugly, even lived hundreds of miles away from each other and I know when our hairs are grey and we've both been married for 50 years my bf and I will still have each other. Congrats, darlin'! I love you!

2. It's been a very productive weekend here at the Fox house. Brent and neighbor Joe got the swing set built (about 8hrs. Saturday and 4hrs. Sunday). Thanks, Grammy and Papaw for the awesome birthday present! We had a cookout with the fam last last to celebrate Kirah's new playground! Tons of awesome food, including 5,000 calorie homemade ice cream. Yum. I painted the shutters. We're working on getting those up this afternoon. Feels good to be able to cross some things off the "to do" list!

3. Going to have dinner at O'Charley's tonight. Good food. Good friends. I am looking forward to it.

4. I'll be spending the week preparing for Kirah's birthday party. We'll have family and friends here to celebrate on Saturday evening. I know Kirah is excited for her friends to play on her new birthday gift.

5. The girls and I will head back home to Indiana on Sunday with my parents while Daddy goes to Orlando (oh, so sad, huh?) for a conference. I am looking forward to time with the people I love dearly. I need it. I've been especially missing them the last week or so.

6. Need to get my big girl down for her nap.

More soon. :)

news

The dr. called this afternoon with results from Kenah's test. With the blood work, they tested three levels - IGA, IGG and IGM. One of her levels (IGA) is low. This puts her at increased risk of infection, which could explain part of what Kenah's been through. However, because she's only deficient in one area, they do not feel she needs any transfusions at this time. The plan is to repeat labs every 3-4 months to keep a close eye on her levels. We are thankful as we know the news could have been worse, but we still want our baby to be lifted up to the Great Physician, knowing only He can heal and make her whole.
Kenah is still scheduled to go back to the allergist for complete allergy testing in two weeks. She will continue the steroid until that time. She's experiencing a few side-effects from the meds, which has been very unpleasant for her.

Here's just one more example of how awesome God is and how He works: Whitney showed up at my house to spend some time with me only five minutes before I got the call from the dr. All week, my mom has shared that she feared I'd hear the news that Kenah had a deficiency and be alone. God knew and He didn't want me to be alone, so He sent a friend to be by my side. Thanks, Whit! ..."I will never leave you or forsake you"... He is good! So good.


Goodnight.

okay, just real quick...

1. We had a great day yesterday with the Caddy family. The arrived around 3pm, we had a cookout, went to the Jerzee for some yummy ice cream and then showed them around our awesome city. They are priceless to us. More than friend, they feel like family. Thanks, Jason and Tina for making time to come visit us! Each time we are together again makes us miss you even more, but we are so thankful for the memories our families continue to make together! We love you all! Can't wait 'till next time.

2. Forgot to share Kirah's experience with petting a live bat at church Wednesday night. No, I'm not kidding. No, I didn't know what she was doing or what she was petting. Yes, he liked it. No, this is not a joke.

3. Getting ready to enjoy happy hour (Sonic! a Diet Coke! here at my house!) with Whitney. I need a little girlfriend time! :)

4. I'm excited for a long weekend. Brent and our neighbor are building Kirah a swingset for her birthday this weekend! Yay!

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Update on my baby: Went to the allergist this morning. It was very informational for us. However, Kenah had to have a blood test today to look for an immune defiency. We've been told that there's a chance the hives she's had are a result of this. My dad was diagnosed with the defiency recently, and just last night I learned that it can be hereditary. Yesterday and today have been very difficult for me. I told a friend today it's been bizarre the waves of emotion that I've felt. One moment I find myself very optomistic and sure my baby's just fine. Five minutes later I am crying, feeling discouraged and scared.

What has yet to be understood is why the prescription strength meds. have only taken the hives down for a few hours, but never taken them away (which is usually the case with allergies). IF Kenah has this and the hives are not some random allergy, she will have to receive infusions (my dad has received them about once a month) to assist her body in making up for what it lacks. My dad was unaware of having this condition for many years and that is what lead to his lymphoma. The allergist did assure me today that if Kenah is in fact facing this challenge, it doesn't neccesarily mean she'll have it forever. She could grow out of it by the time she's 10 or 15 years old.

Here's how amazing God is: Tonight I was struggling throughout choir practice. Just feeling scared, worried...We began singing a song that speaks of the name of Jesus and the power in His name - Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Something special, Supernatural. Something happens when I call on your name. Then, Scott shared a verse in Joshua..."I will never leave you or forsake you." The Holy Spirit came over me and it was as if Jesus was holding me closer to Him than I've ever been. It was absolutly amazing. Words cannot begin to express the peace I felt in that moment. I knew at the very minute I wanted Kenah to be anointed and prayed over. It couldn't wait either. So, I found Pastor Mark and my family and we began to pray together as she was anointed. As we were lifting her up to the Lord, I heard the choir begin to sing...Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus....something special, Supernatural....

God is amazing. He has taken this restless, worried, unsettled, anxious mother's heart and filled it with peace. Peace. I love my Jesus and I know He loves my Kenah Jo even more than I ever could.

my baby and her hives

Ok, so this is just a glimpse into how my baby girl has looked for 14 days now...
The dermatologist said it's definetly hives and she's definetly allergic to something. He put her on her second prescription strength anti-histamine and a steroid. I am feeling very discouraged and overwhelmed by this because I have NO IDEA what she's allergic to. The next step is allergy testing, which if you've been through you know is not pleasant. [sidenote: I passed out when my mom took me for allergy testing in jr. high] Please pray for my baby. Being a mommy, I want to be able to fix it. I haven't been able to yet. Tried cutting out milk, but obviously that's not it. Next (I guess) will be all dairy products. Who knows.

P.S. I apologize in advance for the showing of buttcrack.

the dentist, the interview and the dermatologist.

Had to take Kirah to the dentist today. She's been complaining of a tooth ache for a couple weeks now. She screamed. She cried. She kicked and screamed some more. No cavities. Just a little mouth and lots of teeth with little room. Dr. is sure she'll have to have some pulled later on but for now we're good.

Somehow, out of nowhere I got an interview at Kohls tonight. Long story and to be honest I'm way too tired to blog about it in detail. Anyway, we'll see what happens. I'm confused, reluctant but also a little excited about it. I don't know.

Kenah goes to the dermatologist tomorrow. We are praying we get some answers to the hives/rash/funky breakout thing she's had for 14 days now. Let me rephrase that: We BETTER got some answers since we're paying a $50 copay for all 30 seconds the Dr. will look at her cute butt.

Alright. I'm outta here. More tomorrow.

if momma aint' happy...

1. It's Friday! :)
2. My awesome hubby and I worked our butts off yesterday (his day off). We got a lot done - including all the laundry. Yay for productivity.
3. We still have 100 things on the list to be completed before company comes next week.
4. Our very good friends (we like to refer to them as family) are coming Wednesday. We were on staff with them in Omaha. Jason and Tina have four kiddos (3 are boys) and they are all coming to see us Foxes...and we're all going to be staying in our house! If you've been to my house and are reading this I know what you're thinking because I'm thinking it too. BUT, we are so excited to have them come, Brent's excited to have some testosterone in the house and who cares if there's only one shower and no extra bedroom?
5. We have a super busy weekend including two birthday parties tomorrow!
6. Kenah is now sleeping through the night. 9:00 pm - 7:30 am. WITHOUT NURSING. This makes me one happy momma. :)
7. I am waiting for a call from the Dr. Kenah had hives last week and continues to break out in this bizarre rash bump hive looking thing. It's weird. I have no idea what's causing it but I'm starting to get a little anxious about it. She acts okay (unlike when she had hives). I hope we can get some answers today.
8. Kirah told us (at the dinner table) that she fell down the stairs at Walmart. She's realized that she knows how to put on a good lie and make it funny. We told her that Mommy and Daddy know that's not true because Walmart doesn't have stairs. She just laughed. Can you say "Drama Queen"?
9. Speaking of drama queen, I need to go check on her big toe. She hurt it yesterday and I think her leg may fall off here soon.

Nighty night.

Welp, it's Wednesday night and I am exhausted. Not sure why I'm not in bed because my girls are. I have to be up bright and early in the morning because we are keeping the neighbor boy while his mommy has surgery. Kirah loves him, so I'm sure it'll be a fun day. Hubby has to paint the garage doors and fix his flat tire tomorrow. I have about 5 loads of laundry to do. I had it to do on Monday and Tuesday too. Yup, been a slackin' this week.

Ok, nighty night. Sleepy tight. Don't let the bedbugs bight.

I'm Baaack!

It's been forever. I'm sorry. I've had no internet and have thus been completely out of touch with the world. All is well though and I hope to be blogging more now that my long lost wireless signal has shown his lovely face again.

Top 12.

1. I haven't had a chance to blog in 14 years.
2. My Kenah Jo got shots today. She's grumpy and sad, which makes her mommy grumpy and sad.
3. My daddy isn't doing well right now. Pray for him please.
4. My sissy isn't well either. She's had a terrible time with her injured knee. She's in pain. She's discouraged. And, currently she's stuck at home in a leg cast for two weeks in the 25th attempt to get her knee to heal. Pray for her too.
5. Kirah hasn't had her pacifier for 7 days. This, my friends, is a miracle. :)
6. People change (including me). I've been thinking on this fact a lot in recent days. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it's okay. Lately I've been hurt by this.
7. God NEVER changes. :)
8. My husband rented the movie P.S. I love you. for me this weekend. I liked it! I cried a lot, but I liked it!
9. An unexpected guest showed up at our house for lunch yesterday. I had nothing prepared, therefore, he was served ABC 123's. He swears he loved it. Honestly, I hope his wife doesn't find out because I am quite embarrased.
10. I've been reading the book of Job. That's some hard core stuff right there. God is revealing so much to me through this. Amazing.
11. Kirah was playing her piano today and singing along. This is what I heard...."Barney loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so...."
12. I am missing my momma today. She makes me smile.

uh huh, that's right...

"When you have your first child, you lose all your free time. When you have your second, you lose all the free time you didn't realize you still had." - unknown

true dat.

Answered Prayers.

God hears our prayers. Sometimes he answers them how we're hoping. Other times He chooses not to. Today he answered for my family.
1. My niece, Lexi, has had some health issues. She had a follow up test/appointment today. If the tests came up one way it would've been surgery and hospitilization. GOD answered. Thank you, Jesus...Lexi is healthy!
2. My dad has a cough and was feeling concerned he may have pnemonia. Called the Dr. first thing. Had an X-ray. As you may know, my daddy has been fighting major health issues for quite some time. BUT, GOD answered. No pnemonia. Thank you, Father.

Tonight I can't stop praising Him.

:)

What an amazing (long) weekend it's been!
-Thursday was spent at home as a family. We really just spent most of the day lovin' on Daddy because we'd missed him so much.
-Friday my BF came into town and we went to fireworks. Kirah hated them. Kenah loved them.
-Saturday our families arrived. Saturday night we had Kenah Jo's 1st birthday party. Hamburgers, hotdogs and too much other yummy food. Oh, cake and ice cream too. Kenah didn't touch her cake. Enough of the fat girl jokes, she said... She got a lot of great gifts and loved the "birthday song"! Before the party was over, she was pooped out and had to go up to bed.
Went back to the hotel that night to swim with cousins. What a great day we had!
-Today was a good day. Had my family at church with us this morning. Lunch at Mi Jalapeno (my fav). Dad bought which makes it taste even better. Nap this afternoon (rare). 2nd Annual Teen/Parent Water Wars tonight. I managed to stay dry yet another year. :)

Love my family. Love my (crazy, hectic, chaotic, blessed, wonderful, good) life. Most of all, love my God.

I am exhausted. Going night-night.
More soon.

7/2/08.

My husband is home. Nothing like having him here with us. I loved waking up in the middle of the night last night and snuggling up to him. He's everything to me.

My Kenah is 'one' today. I can't believe it. She lights up my life! First thing this morning Kenah Jo received a big sloppy "birthday kiss" from her sissy. We met Daddy at McDonalds for lunch. What else would a little girl want to do to celebrate their birthday? Nuggets, fries and a hot fudge sundae... she loved every bite! "MMMM", she said.

We'll have family and friends over on Saturday for her party. I'm looking forward to time with the people we love and who love us.

Knowing that Kenah is the last baby I will have (biologically), I am kind of sad today. As difficult and challenging as her first year has been, I honestly feel a little sad that it's over. Sitting up. Crawling. "Mama". "Dada". Even walking... all milestones that now are only a faded memory. The first six months were unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. I've never felt so tried and tested. I've never seen a baby in such pain as she constantly was with colic. It was a nightmare. But, looking back I am able to see the areas of my life that God grew me. My marriage and my family are stronger. Isn't it always true that after the storm, we are able look back and see God's hand carrying us through it all? 7/2/07 I had no idea what was ahead - emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually. 7/2/08 I am thankful for God's grace. Thankful for God's strength. Thankful for God's peace and His amazing love. Thankful to our Creator...thankful for my Kenah Jo.

Yay it's today!

My hubby arrives tonight at 8:50. I cannot wait to be with him again!
We're surprising him at the airport. Yay! :)

Rainy Sunday Afternoon.

1. It's Sunday afternoon. My kids are sleeping and I cannot.
2. My handsome husband is in the Bahamas right now. I miss him terribly and can't wait to give him a big hug (and a huge kissaroo) on Tuesday night. We're planning to surprise him at the airport. Kirah can't wait to be with her daddy again! Nobody in this family sleeps well without Daddy being home with us.
3. My momma just left my house. She's been here with me since Friday. She's priceless. She amazes me. I do not know how I could survive even one day without her in my life.
4. My dad is glad she's coming home. He's been lonely without her this weekend. I bet he'll lay a wet one on her when he sees her! :)
5. The girls and I spent last week in Indiana. Had a chance to serve others while I was there. Cleaned my parents house for them. Helped a friend who just lost her house in the flood a few weeks ago (it was a great experience). Planted flowers for my sister and did a little housework for her (she's down with an injured knee). Great food. Great conversations. Great memories - including an evening at the park with the fam, an unforgettable trip to Lowes, and a late-night heart-to-heart with my momma. Laughter, tears, sunshine and rain.
6. Pray for my dad. There's a lot going on - too much to share right now. Unsure of the future and worried about the "what if's". Please help me pray.
7. In 3 days my baby girl will be ONE! As hard and trying as this past year has been, I'm sad that she's already 361 days old. She's walking too. Unbelievable.
8. I need to get my laundry put away before my lil' darlings awake.
More soon.

The List.

Have you ever began your day by making a list of all your "To Do's"? You know, the things you need to accomplish that day? Once your list is complete, you get busy trying to tackle The List. Then, before you know it you are doing five other things (that no doubt HAD to be done) but never even made The List...
and, (this is the best-or most ridiculous part) if you're me you go back to The List, add the five things you just did and immediately cross them off. Ahhh...anything to feel accomplished.

:)

Going Home to Help.

I will be going home in two weeks to help in any way possible. Someone very dear to me has lost all she's ever owned. This lady was like a mother and a great friend to me growing up. When I look back on my jr. and high school years, there is no doubt it was her love and support that carried me through some tough times.

Next week we have church camp. I am teaching a seminar there on Tues. and Thurs. so I cannot go home yet. I plan to pack up after camp and head to Indiana. I need to be there. I want to be there. I am ready to do anything and everything I can to help those whose lives seem to be falling apart, especially my friend and her family.

We haven't been in close contact much over the past year because of some sticky circumstances, communication breakdowns...crap like that. But, I have never felt such a strong desire to pour my energy and efforts (and my heart) into something. These people need to see Jesus. My friend needs to see Jesus. God is doing something amazing in my heart for my friend. A month ago, there was an incrediable distance between us. Today I just want to wrap my arms around her and do anything possible to bring hope to her heart. I feel nothing but compassion.

* God, I pray that you would work through me. Beginning now, I ask that you would give me the words to speak that will bring hope and joy in this time of great loss and desperation. Would you be my hands and my feet as I work to restore whatever I can. Help me to see through your eyes. If I've ever wanted you to increase and Amy to decrease, it's now God. You know my heart. Amen. *

Even now...

If you haven't heard, there was horrible flooding in Indiana this weekend. One of the worst areas effected was our hometown. I spent 90% of the day yesterday on the phone with my family and friends trying to grasp what was happening to those I love so dearly. I cried a lot. Worried a lot. Asked a lot of questions and worried and cried some more. I just cannot begin to fathom some of the fear and panic so many people most have felt. I cannot being to understand just how scary it must be to leave your home, all of your earthly treasures knowing that when you return nothing will ever be the same. Through this, God has reminded me of how precious life is. How blessed we are to have family. To be loved. To have shelter. To be saved.

Both of our families are safe. My dad and my brother-in-law are both working non-stop to assist in restoration efforts. If you think of it, pray for their safety as they continue working 16hrs. at a time, coming home to sleep for eight and going back again. They make me proud.
Also, pray for all the victims of the flood. Many have lost everything. They are homeless and feel hopeless. My heart is so heavy for each of them.

I read in God's word today - Don't let your heart be troubled. Trust in God.
The truth is He is still God and He has control of it all. When we don't understand, and I don't...God is still God. When we are worried, as I often do...God is still God. When we doubt, and I have...God is still God. Even now, God is still God.

Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

There are days that I have no idea how I am able to get anything accomplished. Today is one of those days. Yesterday was too.

I am feeling so exhausted this week. Kenah Jo had tubes placed in her ears on Monday morning. I thought that she'd be sleeping great after her surgery because her ear infections would be healed. Ha. Dream on! She is not sleeping well at all-nap or nightime! For instance, last night I finally got her down about 10:30. She was up 4 times before midnight. Then, down again at 12:15 and up at 3:45 and 5:45. If you've never experienced extreme sleep depravation for several months on end - 11 to be exact - well, um...it sucks. She wants to nurse all the time. She's not eating well. She's grumpy. Clingy. I cannot wait for this storm to be over. I am so burnt out.

I feel like I run around here like a chicken with her head cut off. Dishes. Cleaning up every bodies messes. Laundry. Dirty diapers. Cooking. Cleaning. Bath time. Whiny babies. More dirty diapers. More laundry. I feel like a mouse running on a wheel that never stops and has no end.
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my life. I adore my family. I would not happy doing ANYTHING other than what I do. But today I could use a break. You know, not getting enough sleep fogs the lenses of the rest of life.

Just for the record: at the end of each day (about 11:30 p.m.), when I have my sweet girls tucked into bed (for an hour or so anyway) there is a sense of accomplishment and an enormous amount of contentment that overwhelms my heart and brings peace and joy to my soul.

God is still God.

Kenah has to get tubes in her ears on Monday. I am very nervous and emotional.
A friend is in the hospital and I am worried.
I am having a garage sale tomorrow. It's such hard work.


God is still God. I am so thankful for this.

Blessed.

1. My Kenah Jo took her first steps tonight. Six steps. All by herself. That's my baby! I'm still trying not to cry.

2. I am blessed. Blessed with great friends that do too much for myself and my family.

Stupid Thingymabob.

Yesterday was so busy. Went to the store with my Kirah in the morning. Came home and got the laundry put away. Made lunch. Cleaned up the kitchen. Daddy took the girls to the park. I stayed home and did some painting. Touch-up here and there and other odds and ends. Picked up the cabinet thingmabob to carry it in (just spent two hours painting the dumb thingymabob) and what do you know it fell apart. Not just a little bit but the whole bit. I mean, seriously fell to pieces. It was something you'd see on a movie. The back piece, side piece and inside pieces came unstapled unglued and undone. It was unreal. After I realized the neighbors were watching I felt like an idiot and tried to play it off like that is exactly what I had in mind all along. Ended up, nieghbor man (Joe) came over and screwed it all back together. Fixed 'er up and got 'er done. Boy, that was fun! Went to a grad party, then a cookout, then came home and roasted smores with the neighbors. Great day. Had fun.

What a beautiful day it was. I love sunshine. One of my favorite things is to sit out and let the sun warm my skin. Soak up the rays, I guess you could call it. It's relaxing. It makes me happy. I got to do that today. Had some teens over to hang out tonight. Cooked out. Good times. :)

Going to bed. Have a big day planned tomorrow. If it rains our plans will be ruined though.

Night.

This Mommy's Prayer.

Started the day at the Dr. Kenah Jo has not been well for several weeks now. We've been to the Dr. twice already in the past three weeks - dx with double ear infections. The runny nose and such are much better but I had a bad feeling antibiotic #2 hadn't done the job. I was right (gotta love the mother's intuition). She still has a double ear infection. So, they gave her a shot - which never gets easier for mom to watch - and sent her home with antibiotic #3. We have an appt. to see the ENT on June 2 to find out if she needs surgery. I am praying for healing in this little body of hers. I believe God will answer this mommy's prayer.

Goodnight.

What a day. I actually got to sleep in this morning - until 10:00! It was amazing. :) Thanks, husband.

Had lunch with a friend. Good conversation and yummy food.

Came home and the madness began. Got the girls down for a nap and then I started cleaning like a mad woman. Worked my butt off up until about 10 minutes ago. Brent got the lawn mowed and went to the grocery. We had BLTs for dindin. Scrumptious. Gave the girls baths. Finished some laundry and tucked my princesses into bed.



I've had the Chapman (Steven Curtis Chapman) family on my heart today. If you haven't heard, thier youngest daughter (5 years) was killed in a terrible accident at their home last night. My heart aches for them. I've just prayed and prayed for the family today. Tonight Kirah climbed up on the dining room chair and got some messy fingerprints on the cleanly dusted table. For an instant, I was quite frustrated that my hard work had been messed up already. Then, I realized how selfish and superficial I was and I almost began to cry. It was as if God said "Amy, be thankful for those precious fingerprints. Don't rush to polish them away...instead be thankful."



Lord, I am thankful. Today You have reminded me how precious life is and my heart is full of thanksgiving that I had one more day to show my Kirah and Kenah just how much their mommy adores them.

Home.

Well, it's been awhile...

I spent most of last week trying to do laundry and catch up on housework before the girls and I were due to leave to go home. I was at the hospital most of the day Wednesday - waiting on the arrival of Brady Thomas Werling. What an exciting day it was. Made me think back to the priceless moments of welcoming our two miracles into the world. For one second I thought maybe I'd want to have another one but just because I LOVED the birthing process. Then, a very short seond later I smacked myself and snapped out of it. I'm done. So done. :)

Friday we took dinner to our dear friends after they brought the little man home. Then we went to Walmart to get a couple window shades to put on the windows of the van. Lately Kirah has been quite devastated if the sun gets in her eyes. Well, by the time we got home (a 3 minute drive) the shades had already come off the window and we realized we got ripped off. I hate when stupid stuff like that happens. Since Friday, those retarded shades have caused more drama in the life of myself and my children than anything.

Saturday morning - at the buttcrack of dawn - we left for Indiana. I had the girls packed up, in the van and on the road by 6:00 a.m. It was pure madness from then. We spent the entire day rushing around getting ready for mom's surprise. It was so crazy. Trying to get everything accomplished with the girls there too was almost impossible. But, we did it and it was perfect in the end! She was shocked. Really shocked. As in crying her eyes out shocked. It was priceless. 81 people. Lots of grub. Good cake. Good music. I loved sitting back and watching my mother be honored in such a special way. What a night to remember!

Spent a little time back home before coming back home (to OH). The drive home on Tuesday was insane. The worst experience I've ever had with the girls while traveling alone. Basically - long story short - a ton of crying and screaming, an hour of being lost, and a huge traffice jam. Good times. My wonderful hubby had dinner on the table when we arrived home. I love him.

We're home and ready to stay for awhile.
Got to hold Brady today. I love to sit and study the perfection of God's creation. While I was sitting in their living room, Kirah was out playing with Micah. As I looked out and saw her blonde ponytail blowing in the breeze, I was reminded of how quickly time goes. It seems it was only yesterday that I was sitting on our own couch holding her - all 6lbs.8oz. of her. She's a big girl now. My baby is going to be 3 years old soon. So, today I am thanking my God for not only being the Giver of life and also the Sustainer. He is good. So good.

Watching Her Sleep...

Kenah is sick. She has an ear infection. It's so hard for me to see her feel so miserable. Needless to say, she has wanted to be held so much lately. I sit and hold her and she falls asleep in my arms. I wouldn't trade all the money in the world for a moment to hold her and watch my baby girl sleep. It makes my heart melt. Nothing can replace those moments of being so close.
Kirah is a "big girl" now and she doesn't want to snuggle too often. That makes me sad. So, even though Kenah Jo isn't well and I am praying she gets better really soon, I am so thankful for these times. Today I am putting the housework off and holding my baby instead. Because even though she'll always be mine, she won't be a baby for much longer.

Wowsers.

Had a great weekend, but holy smokes - it was crazy!
Saturday Mom, myself and the girls headed to Columbus to get Kenah's pics taken. She wasn't happy. Hated it actually. That was a bummer. Shortly after leaving the picture place, I accidentially headed the wrong direction on I-270. Took a few miles to find an exit we could get turned around and head the right way. Once we did, and just a mile or so down the interstate there was a horrible wreck (pile-up, actually) where we'd just been just seconds before. I was immediately overcome with gratitude to my God for protecting us. I began to cry, just calling out to Him thanking Him for keeping us safe from harm and also prayed for those involved. Found out that evening there was a 4-year old injured in the wreck along with others. God chose to protect us even when we didn't know we were so near to such danger. Amazing. I am still praising Him.
Today has been exhausting. I've been trying to deal with some things - praying and asking God to rid me of some things that aren't pleasing to Him. Been wrestling with it for a few weeks. He's helping me, but I still want to give even more to Him. Emotionally I am plum spent. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it hurts, but there's grace. I know God will be faithful to complete this work He's began and I am excited to see what He has in store.
Had a good evening with a friend tonight. Stayed home from church because Kenah Jo isn't feeling good. It was good though. Just relaxed. Talked. Laughed. Cried.
I am counting my blessings tonight, but even if I counted until morning I wouldn't be near finished.
Goodnight.

It's Friday! Woot!

What a week it's been!

I have been very productive this week. Spent a few days cleaning out closets, going through toys, kitchen cabinets... It's been great to rid our house of junk, but what an exhausting job it is! I think it's one of those things that everybody dreads but once it's done you feel so accomplished! I need to start doing this job once a month instead of once a year! :)
My mom is coming today. She'll be here for the weekend. I love having her here. She's one of my very best friends. I feel like I can use a mommy fix right about now. Got a lot on my mind that I am anxious to share with her. She always listens and helps put things into perspective. My mom is priceless to me.
Kenah has started sleeping better at night. All week her sleep schedules have looked something like this:
down at 10:00 p.m. , sleep till 3:30-4:30 a.m.
nurse, back to bed and sleep until 7:30 or 8:00 a.m.
morning nap at 10:00ish until 11:30ish
afternoon nap at 2:00ish until 4:00ish

MUCH BETTER! Just two weeks ago she was waking up every 2-3 hours in the night. She'd cry for hours on end. So, I am thanking God for helping her rest better!
A good friend of mine is about ready to have her baby! I am looking so forward to the occasion! Also I cannot wait for her to become a mommy for the very first time. I've been pondering back to when Kirah was born, thinking of what an amazing experience it was. Excited for them to experience a miracle of God.
I am feeling very thankful for my husband today. He goes through so much - most of which I am sure I don't know the half. He's so busy. So overwhelmed and stretched, but yet so gracious. So full of energy. So helpful. So loving. So thoughtful. I admire him. Today I am so appreciative and so blessed.
Well, gotta go clean the bathroom and fold some laundry. So exciting!

Here's to Blogging!

Well, I've never been a blogger and I'm not real sure what the heck I'm doing. Just thought it may be good for me to begin journaling some of what happens in the day-to-day life of myself and my family. I think it will be a great way for my family and friends back home and in Omaha to keep up with the Foxes! So, here goes. Enjoy!